You know that feeling when you walk into a room and completely forget why you’re there? Then suddenly, it hits you—oh yes, nappies, a snack, the missing school permission slip, and booking that GP appointment you meant to do three weeks ago. Welcome to the mental load of motherhood.

The mental load isn’t just about doing things; it’s about thinking about doing them, planning to do them, reminding everyone else to do them, and—if we’re honest—just doing them ourselves because it’s easier.

The Never-Ending To-Do List (That No One Sees)

From remembering your child’s best friend’s dairy allergy before a playdate to tracking when the school newsletter comes out (why is it always a surprise?), mums juggle an entire ecosystem of tiny details. It’s like playing a never-ending game of 4D chess while sleep-deprived.

The problem? This mental burden is often invisible. Your partner might be happy to help if you just tell them what needs doing—but that’s the point! The constant strategising, anticipating, and delegating is exhausting.

How to Lighten the Mental Load

Let’s be real: The only way to completely escape the mental load is to move to a deserted island (tempting, right?). But there are ways to make it feel more manageable:

1. Delegate like a CEO – You don’t need to carry it all. Give actual responsibility to your partner or kids—without micromanaging! Let them own a task from start to finish.

2. Write it down – A shared digital calendar or a big whiteboard in the kitchen can help get the mental list out of your head and into the real world. If it’s written down, it’s not just your job to remember it.

3. Lower the bar (just a little) – If you’re constantly spinning plates, ask yourself: Does this actually need to be done? Some things can wait. Some things can be skipped entirely. (Yes, your child will survive without a themed lunchbox.)

4. Communicate the unseen – If your partner truly doesn’t see the invisible workload, have a conversation about it. Not a snappy “must be nice not to worry about these things” (we’ve all been there), but an actual discussion about sharing the load more equally.

Motherhood is full-on, but you don’t have to be the keeper of all the things. The mental load is real, but with a few shifts, you can reclaim a little more headspace—and maybe even remember why you walked into that room in the first place.